Sometimes life comes at you 100 miles per hour and its all you can do to try to stay standing. My life after Peace Corps has been a fine (or maybe a not so fine) example of this. I wasn’t expecting to leave as suddenly as I did, so I had zero [count them; zero, zilch, none, nill, nada] plans. I’m an anal retentive planner that brushes her teeth at the same exact time each night so you can imagine how well I took this.
When I got home, I kind of shut down. There were too many life altering decisions to be made and everyone expected an answer like right now. Do I enlist and if so in which branch, do I go to grad school for Conflict Resolution, do I get a schlep job and try and put some much needed cash in the bank, which state do I want to live in, do I want to go back overseas to be an ESL teacher? These aren’t things that can be answered easily. This is my friggin’ life we are talking about here people.
To be truthful, I still don’t know what the hell I want to do. Right now I want to get my health restored, I want to get my self-confidence back, I want to get some good lovin’ (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) I want to be tan and shoe shop in NYC, I want to be a bitch to people who I’m sick of trying to appease, I want to stop waking up screaming at 4 A.M. trying to get her hands off my throat, I want to once again be someone to reckon with, I want to think things through!
What I am trying to say is please be patient with me. It’s hard trying to make a major life decision and go through everything I have since I have been home. It’s killing me not knowing what I am going to be doing and where I will be doing God knows what at. Please be patient and let me think things through. Please.